There wasn’t a drop of rain that day, which always made Josh
feel better. In fact, he thought to himself that he couldn’t actually remember
when it had last rained, which felt odd considering that it was the end of
August, breaking into September. The sun made it easier; Josh could happily sit
with his book and read, keeping an eye on his favourite coffee shop across the
street from the bench he frequented. He wasn’t so keen on the rain, because it
meant he would have to sit inside, and then there was a high likelihood that he
would be served by ‘her’.
Now, there wasn’t a real issue with being served by her,
Josh mused. In fact, it felt delightful, to be so close to her and being able
to talk to her without any form of pretence other than genuinely wanting a cup
of coffee and somewhere dry to read his book. That was the closest that Josh
ever came to actually holding a conversation with her, with Harry... He knew
that she liked to be called that, that she thought Harriet was an old fashioned
name and made her sound like an old lady, and not the twenty three year old
philosophy graduate that she was. Josh knew a lot about Harry, from bits of
conversations that he’d overheard on rainy days, or from bits that he’d found
out when he’d managed to garble out more than just a drinks order in the past.
One thing he definitely knew about Harry, was that he loved her. From her
reddish brown hair to her pale blue eyes, from her slight overbite to the tiny
scar on the back of her left hand, Josh knew that he loved her.
Josh had never been one to express his feelings. When he was
a child, his mother used to be amused by the fact that, should he ever fall
over and scrape his knee, rather than cry and bawl, he’d simply sit up and look
at the graze with mild interest before wiping it off and carrying on with
whatever he was doing. The truth was, Josh was scared. Not a lot scared him in
life, but the thought of telling Harry how he felt rattled his nerves more than
any scary film or rollercoaster ever could. That was how he knew this was love.
He’d had feelings for girls in the past, at college and at university, and he’s
struggled to talk to them, but eventually he found the courage. With Harry
though, the thought of her rejection was just too much for Josh’s mind to
process; so there he sat, on that bench, every lunch break he got. He sat
there, and he waited, and he watched her, hoping to finally get the courage to
say something.
***
“Harry, that guy’s outside again. Want me to move him on?”
The cafe manager asked as he cleared a table. He looked at Harry and she
shrugged, “No, its fine. He usually leaves after a while, and besides, I think
it’s kind of cute.” Harry finished making a table’s order for them and then
watched as Josh stood from the bench and left, right on time, without so much
as a glance at the cafe. She sighed; sure, she understood how people could see
it as creepy, to have a guy sit outside the coffee shop nearly every day. She
could even see why people had started to label him as a stalker, but she
ignored it. She knew he was an okay guy; he’d even been into the coffee shop a
few times, when it had been raining, and he was genuinely pleasant, if a little
awkward, but she thought it was cute in an odd sort of way. Besides, she
thought, it’s not like he wasn’t attractive. How many other girls could say
they had a six foot something guy with hair that always had a windswept look to
it, and eyes that felt like they could read a person’s thoughts coming to the
place they worked just to see them? Not many... And that made her feel the
situation was that little bit more special.
***
Inevitably, the rain came, which brought Josh indoors. He
could feel his breath grow heavier as his nerves rose. It felt as though his
heart was pounding against his sternum, but knew it was just his imagination,
otherwise he had a serious medical condition that he was unaware of. He tried
to appear as calm as possible, book in hand, eyes scanning across the words but
not really taking them in. He glanced outside at the downpour, at his bench that
stood vacant across the street. Perhaps he should invest in a decent umbrella,
he thought to himself.
“Oh, hi there.” It was her, cheerful as always, despite the
weather. Maybe that was just part of the job, Josh thought, but it was nice to
see her smile on a day like today. Perhaps today would be the day when he
finally said something other than a drinks order. He swallowed and took a deep
breath, looking at her, “A large coffee please, black, but...” “With a small
jug of milk on the side in case you change your mind, I know.” She smiled and
gave a wink as she jotted the order down. Was he really that predictable? Or
had she really paid that much attention to his visits in the past? Either way,
something warm bubbled inside of him that manifested itself as a smile of his
own, and one that lasted for the rest of the day.
***
The next day, he resolved he’d finally say something. He had
to! She remembered his order, so there had to be something between them, and he
couldn’t ignore that. That morning, work passed like a blur. He had too much on
his mind to think about accounts. He didn’t even pay much attention to the walk
to the coffee shop, but as he stood there, there was a crowd blocking the
street. There was an ambulance, and mutterings in the crowd about a road
accident. There was a woman in one of those metallic shock blankets, drinking
from a takeaway cup and trying to talk to a police officer whilst wiping away
the tears from her swollen, reddening eyes and cheeks. Josh stood back; he
waited until the crowd had died down, but Harry was nowhere to be seen inside.
With a sigh, he turned and walked away.
The next few days passed in a haze for Josh. He could call
no actual recollection of what he’d done to mind, but still he found himself
sat on that same bench, watching. He’d missed his chance, he thought. Stupid,
how he’d let that crowd shake his nerves so he didn’t see Harry. He felt like
that ordeal had placed a block around his mind, preventing that courage from
coming back. But still, he sat and watched. He’d finished his book a few days
before, so had nothing to cover his intentions with. He felt bare, on display,
but still he wanted to see her.
It’d had been three days now, and he’d noticed that Harry
hadn’t smiled much. Sure, she gave a smile to her customers, but it looked
false, like she didn’t have the same passion for her job anymore, that same
passion for life. He frowned and stood, ready to stride over and say something,
but he stopped as he watched her set down a coffee cup and a little jug of milk
on the table he usually sat at. That was his order. Was she waiting for him? He
blinked as she looked out of the shop window, staring at him, at the bench. He
smiled and waved. He felt like an idiot, standing in the middle of the street,
waving, but she simply stared. It was as if she was looking past him, not
seeing him. He stopped. He turned to look at the bench, a knot grinding itself
against the wall of his stomach. Head hung low, Josh walked away as rain began
to fall.
***
“You okay?” Chris, the manager, placed a hand on Harry’s
shoulder. She shrugged as she looked to the still steaming cup of coffee on the
table, “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” She moved to the counter, busying herself with
polishing glasses and putting cups away, still glancing to the coffee, and
beyond it to that old bench outside as the rain came down heavier. “You know, the
police said that it could’ve happened to anybody, that it was an accident...”
She dabbed at her eyes with a spare napkin, “So why did it have to be him?”
Chris shrugged as he began cashing up the till, “I don’t know, kid. I’m sorry.”
Harry put the last glass away and took off her apron,
sitting at the table with the coffee, facing the seat where he would’ve been;
where he should’ve been. It was raining. He was always here when it rained. She
felt tears begin to trickle slowly down her cheeks as she gave a weak smile,
holding out her hand to the empty seat, “Hi, I’m Harry. What’s your name?”
End.
